Things you must do.

Fold 1000 paper cranes
Put a padlock on a bridge in Italy
Write to Juliet


Enjoy every moment C:

Finality.

Last night, for no reason at all, I found you in my head again. I was in his arms, you were in my head. I wanted you to go away so badly. I was over-whelmed with "what if's," I couldn't handle it anymore. I told him you found your way into my head again. I then began to sob. So many questions. Why did you leave? Why don't you love me? Why do I love you? When will I stop missing you? I told him how frustrating it is to know you're still here, but I can't have you. I thought about how it would be easier if I had that finality. If I knew there was never a possibility you'd come back; I could finally move on. Though, I suppose there's going to be a time when i'm going to have to stop waiting up for you. I just don't know when that'll be.

Can you atleast give me an answer to that, mum?

A reminder of strength.

Someone close to you might pass away, and when your head sorts through all the feelings of grief, your heart is going to tell your head, "Hey, Wait a minute.. I've felt something kind of similiar, let's retrace those moments and see what happend, maybe then she can get some closure on this. She needs something to blame this on, so she can make sense of it, or she's going to go insane.'

I was unbroken, once.

Looking up at the sky, through crystal eyes. Skin cold, face up. She was always beautiful. Tight wringlets sparkled, as if capturing the sunset. Skin cold, face up. She was always so strong. Little white dress, it was always her favourite, she wore it on any occassion. Skin cold, face up. She needed you, like winter needed summer. Her once vibrant heart, now shards of bitter resentment. Skin cold, face up. Loving you got her nowhere.
She still loves you.

Upside-down Belief.

What you believe and what i believe, are two different things altogether. However, whether you believe what i believe, and i believe what you believe. Is a different thing in itself.

That, one, thing.

Everything from the day it happend, onwards is going to lead you back to this brickwall. You can cover it, and bury it, but it's still going to be there and only you have the power to remove that void in your heart.

Locked.

It's like shoving a handful of beautifully coloured birds in a bland, life draining room, and trying to say they're all the same colour, by teaching them the same phrases. it just does not work.